this heart(')s beat; this boy's in love

Zion looked at Nicholas, took a swig of his beer and said, "I don't think you understand what love is.  The beautiful part of love is being able to love someone without trying to make their body your own."

            At this point in the night both were drunk.  And both had been hit by one of the by products of drinking too much – the gentle spirited feeling of always being right, even when wrong.  With every beer came a new level of spiritual transcendence, and a new reason to keep talking.  Nicholas had been sitting across from Zion, but had now shifted over to the seat on Zion’s right.

            "But that's not it at all - that's not what I am trying to do," said Nicholas.

            "Then?"

            "See, I don't think it is an attempt at making their body your own, but just an attempt at letting them know how you feel.   Letting them know how you feel emotionally about them is important.  But letting them know how your body feels, letting them touch you and you touching them in return, you know, well, it's just an entirely different level of understanding.  I think that is the beautiful part of love."

            "Maybe, but why are you trying to hold my hand?"

Seismic beat: Sine(s, ) Waves

a notion of us

can deter-

mine waves

over and

you're under-

currents

sand a-

way steps

once taken

Architecture

Sometimes, I feel like I just need to get out of here.

I know what you mean.  I need to break

Don't know how, though.  How to leave.

I'm going to build us a story.

Dead beat Heart beat

In my head I am constantly updating this blog - in practice I rarely update.  However, I do occasionally check the blog as if someone else will update.

Maybe posting old writing will get the gears going.

new time

step by

step  over

land

marks places &

a time

  when

making our way

through

a man

made

path

  cracked concrete

        steps

left

  right

     until we reach

a grove nestled next

to a ship

of know-

     ledge over

a fallen tree

trunk where dirt

has collected

     days

weeks have matured

to months, hand in hand-

some lengths of time

     january leaps over

     only to march

     through showers

     and may flowers bloom

but are forgotten

  underfoot

     petals are

     crushed thinking

     they love me  and erring

     they love me not

& only leaves

crackle under flip

flops an occasional high

heel

and the dirt

is unforgiving with holes

branches stretched to

far places

     and a hand

     or a bird

     or rain

     or time

has broken little

wooden arms

standing in

piece by piece

  a silence

  conducts a song

  less beauty

that seems to tune

out the thoughts of others under

  standing seems long

  gone

day to

day today

often feels

like the age

of the rebel

with

out a cause without

a rebellion

        that now lets

        us walk

back &  forth

shred

shed

change what was

said

with parts

in the past

You spin me round round

Round round I spun you.

Cake Mix:
Part I of my mix at Carly's birthday party

Six, Teen Candles

From the desk of

The only thing I love more than updating my blog is not updating my blog.

Upcoming events worth noting:

Growing up, birthday parties were synonymous with piñatas – piñatas filled with candy, piñatas filled with money & piñatas filled with flour (the adults in my family were funny, real funny). Carly celebrates her birthday the only way I knew growing up:

I’ll be filling Kate Tsang’s shoes behind the laptop & speakers. We will celebrate with NYC in mind and you in our hearts & dancing feet.

And, if you’re not exhausted from the piñata bashing, then good – I‘ll see you the following night for my dear friend Stephanie’s birthday party. For this we migrate from LA to Orange County. A warehouse Halloween celebration, no flyer for this one, little ones, sorry:

I’ve retired my Warhol wig for something more contemporary & timeless.

I'll leave you with a view from behind my desk at work:

Inside my desk, top drawer: Rosebud salve, stress-relieving lotion, dove chocolate squares